Wanderer to Wonderer…

It has been some time since I last wrote my post about being a Lost Wanderer.

To be honest, it’s been six months now since Allah jee revealed the realities of ‘conflicts’ and ‘dumbness’. It’s been six months that I was made to start my journey from darkness to light (Alhamdullilah)… as Allah SWT says:

God leads believers from darkness to Light. [2:257]

I may not have been a strong believer. But there is one thing which we need to remember ALWAYS is that Allah’s love never decreases for us. He is always there for all His support, mercy & love. It depends on us whether we can try calling Him once or not =) He ALWAYS answers our call, whether we understand it at that very moment or not.

Darkness, as a matter of fact, teaches us the meaning and significance of light. Darkness makes us search for light. In that quest, aware of our weaknesses, we usually feel tired and decide to give in rather than stand up to it. It’s only the helplessness, which makes one realize the existence of Someone with higher authorities… Someones who loves us unconditionally… Someone who is watching and waiting for us to call Him.

“And He found you lost, and guided [you]” [93:7]

It’s commonly said that some lessons are best learned through pain. Somethings can only be understood in peaks of pain & haunting, when a new journey is ready to begin. Sometimes our visions become clear only after our eyes are washed with tears. Sometimes we have to be broken so we can be whole again. Whatever of ache your heart is feeling right now, trust Allah. Hold on :) No matter what happens, where life takes you, hold on to your relationship with Allah. Because when we lose God, it is not God who is lost rather it’s our very own soul.

And while covering the journey from darkness to light, Allah’s love for us starts depicting itself in signs spread all around us. Who says miracles don’t happen? They happen, in every day life, in minutest of things, IF only we ‘try’ to reflect. And these signs have the potential to make any wanderer a ‘wonderer’ under the shade of Immortal Love.

Having Allah in your heart does not mean in your heart does not mean that you won’t be facing any storm. Rather it means that NO storm can be able to sink your boat. So no matter what happens, always trust His love for you and trust the plans of wisdom higher than yours.

Don’t let your source of fulfillment be anything other than your relationship with Allah. Don’t let your definition of success, failure, or self-worth be anything other than your position with Him. And if and when you do this, you become unbreakable, because your handhold is unbreakable. You become unconquerable, because your supporter can never be conquered. And you will NEVER become empty, because your source of fulfillment is unending and never diminishes.

Before this year ends, let us pray that may we have the hindsight to know where we’ve been, the foresight to know where we are going, and the insight to know when we have gone too far. May Allah be our guider and helper in all we do because His forgiveness is wider than our sins and we have more hope in His mercy than in our own deeds :)

O Lord, grant me your love, grant me that I love those who love you; grant me, that I might do the deeds that win your love. Make your love dearer to me than the love of myself, my family and wealth. (Tirmidhi)

Ameen sum ameen.

PS: My this post is dedicated to Noor’e Eemaan & Loyals.

JazakAllah Baba. Fari Baji, I miss you! =)



In the main stream of events on-going every day, very few tend to leave an impact on our mind and thoughts. One of those few events struck my eye because of its unique name, ‘Discover’.

A wise man once said, ‘You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your ‘intuition’.  What you’ll discover will be wonderful.  What you’ll discover is YOURSELF’.

When we examine the lives of the most influential people who have ever walked among us, we discover one thread that winds through them all. They have been aligned first with their spiritual nature and only then with their physical selves.  We all have different desires and needs, but if we don’t discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled. So, for today, let us aim to ‘discover’ our priorities first. As Richard Grant rightly said, ‘The value of identity of course is that so often with it comes purpose.’

May Allah be your guider and helper in all you do. (Ameen)


Life is the strangest thing I have ever known. And it’s strange how ones you consider your strength once turn to be the ones breaking you… slowly… painfully!

Silence is considered to be a great source of strength and as a matter of fact, it really is… when used for conveying the depth of feelings. But the same silence becomes the source of destructor for deep wounds. Our deepest wounds usually come from our deepest relationships. It’s like being in a tornado that just won’t stop ripping you apart. Except that finally it does, finally the wind dies down and you’re still standing

They say ‘You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.‘  No matter how one tries to escape from the clutches of this foreboding shell but maniacal thoughts catch up like bats out of hell.

It’s strange how you spend years confessing about a strong relation and then you let a ‘single‘ moment take all strength away with silence. You let the walls built and go high, so that it becomes difficult to see the other side. You go so far ahead that on looking back, you see nothing but ashes of time and memories. But at that time, even happy memories become the pinching ones. Again strange it is, isn’t it?

But as it’s said that sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simpler. We can never turn back the pages of time, though we may wish to relive a happy moment, or say goodbye just one last time and clear things out, we never can, because the sands of time continue to fall, and we can’t turn the hourglass over. Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.

“The Tao Te Ching says, When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need. Have you ever struggled to find work or love, only to find them after you have given up? This is the paradox of letting go. Let go, in order to achieve. Letting go is God’s law.” – Mary Manin Morrissey

We desperately need to realize that there exists someone whose love is greatest of all. And even though ‘temporal’ relations may come to an end, an ‘eternal’ relations remains right with you! Right in depth of our hearts, there lies that someone… smiling at all our follies and stupidities and always ready to hold our hands and give us the support with His Immortal Love.

And most significantly, as someone rightly said it ‘In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should ALL be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit‘. Going out of inner fire welcomes dark night for soul. It indicates that a lesson needs to be learned. As soon as the lesson is learned, stars in the night start shining leading one to a bright morning… hopeful day! The fire may burn out soon, but passions will smoulder… And forever will remain in melting hearts memories so dear.

People come into your life and people leave it… you just HAVE TO trust that life has a road mapped out for you. You never leave someone behind, you take a part of them WITH you and leave a part of yourself behind. Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when it was understanable if you fell apart, that’s true strength. As Joseph Campbel said, “We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us”. The life which is planned by hands greater than ours, understanding more proper than ours, and submit our will in will bigger than ours.

PS: This post is dedicated to some of gems and mentors of my life… my hidden strengths! :) Ma’am, Aapa & Daa you all three will always be remembered in my prayers. Be blessed wherever you remain.


It has been long since I wrote anything of any sort related to what I feel. Write-ups related to my projects were either based on fact or theories for research. Sometimes I feel so different to myself, so dissimilar to what I used to be, totally unlike to how I used to take things. As far as letting my emotions out through words is concerned, I feel that I’ve become stranger in world of words now. May be I’ve forgotten how to write. The year is about to end. And so is my teen-age :) Year 2010 has been full of tests and challenges. To what extent did I actually face them is well, yet to be decided in overcoming years. Up till now, all I know is that amount of strength ‘added’ in me was not possible without these happenings. And what I am sure of is the lessons I learnt and blessings I had (and still have, all thanks to Almighty). Let us hope that upcoming year will bless me (and all of us) the hindsight to know where I have been, foresight for where I am going and insight when I have gone too far.

The idea of to-do-list struck me when recently I realized life to be very short. Somehow a strange feeling engulfed me making me realize that I have got lots to do but I have perhaps no time. I’m habitual of forming to-do-lists in the times of pressure related to workload,when I feel overwhelmed by the amount of work I have to do and when I face a constant barrage of looming deadlines but a to-do-list related to life? Naah! Bad idea it always seemed to be. Things can’t be covered this way! But these days when I pondered upon it then I actually realize its significance.

The importance of setting ‘priorities’ got cleared to me almost 4 years ago. And it amazingly sorted out MANY issues in my life. The mess of depression no longer seemed a mess because I know that every thought clicking my mind belongs to WHICH priority level. I knew whether that thought is worth considering or it better be neglected (as it would have only added up negative energies). But I never realized that to-do-list can also do this to my life.

To-Do lists…they can make life more manageable by helping us remember everything we need to complete. For me, they made my tasks-to-be-done more CLEARER rather than a vague desire. It is said that, “One of the secrets of getting more done is to make a TO DO List every day, keep it visible, and use it as a guide to action as you go through the day.”

So I thought to write down MY to-do-list related to my life. Obviously there are MANY things but I only mentioned the things needed to be done as soon as possible.

My top three tasks are well a little more personal which I would like not to share with everyone but keep them safe in my own mind! :P =) Out of rest, I am sharing most significant ones with you…

  • To increase my tolerance level (which has become sensitive these days! :P )
  • To learn meaning and Tafseer of Quran.
  • To clear CCNA.
  • To learn more about spirituality.
  • To cover the journey within.
  • To become a psycho-therapist.
  • To become expert in home economics :P
  • To do something meaningful and memorable in field of writing.
  • To read books I have gathered in my shelf :P
  • To get connected with relations I lost in ashes of time.
  • To go to pilgrimage.
  • To have a detailed analysis of Conciousness and sub-conciousness.
  • To be expert in baking.
  • To get back in contact with ones I’ve been disconnected in course of time.
  • To be able to remove misunderstandings which have been developed in my relations.
  • To learn more about linguistics and literature (urdu and english!)
  • To learn Arabic.
  • To read and understand Iqbal’s poetry in detail.
  • To learn more about geographical changes of Earth.
  • To do more actions and use less words.
  • To spend a meaningful life and leave marks of my existence in constructive manner.
  • To be a ‘real’ better human and muslim =)


So now when the sun down is approaching rapidly, I would like you all to come up with YOUR to-do-list and realize what actually you want to accomplish in your life :) They say, ‘Avoiding the phrase “I don’t have time…”, will soon help you to realize that you do have the time needed for just about anything you choose to accomplish in life.’ BUT a set ‘definite‘ objective must be established if we are to accomplish ANYTHING in a big way.

As someone rightly said,

A winner is someone who recognizes his God-given talents, works his tail off to develop them into skills, and uses these skills to accomplish his goals. – Larry Bird

I look forward to see you defining your priority order and deciding your to-d0-lists. =)


My Guest Book…

You can now sign my Guest Book and submit your feedback and talk about anything not related to a specific post but about My blog.

Looking forward to your replies,


Like Michelle Wie, I have played in rain of life before and have dealt with mud. I have played in wind before and have protected myself to stand still and tall. I have played in cold before and have still managed to save my energies, but not all put together. Together they are appearing to be the hardest conditions I ever played in.

Prayers required.

PS: I apologize for being so irregular at my blog from past many months. I’ve been trying to get back but somehow, few hurdles always block my way. Though I still am expectant to get back in this ‘learning’ mode and world soon.

Undefined Destination.


Life is a journey marked with the highest mountaintops and lowest valleys, winding roads, steep hills and slippery slopes. But what must be kept in mind at every step is to ‘define‘ the destination. Destination, if not defined, makes a journey proceeding towards nowhere. Setting the direction of journey helps it in becoming ‘fruitful‘.

So, by this topic, I want everyone of you to come up with three answers:

* What’s your say about significance of ‘defined’ destinations in our life? What difference, in your view point, can make in one’s life and in one’s journey?

* What do you think of ‘destination‘ of Pakistani nation? Is it defined or is it not? In either ways, what’s the reason behind your conclusion?

* Have you ever tried figuring out destination of YOUR journey? What hurdles did or do you face in this effort?


Once our destination is ‘defined’, then we may not change the direction of the wind, but we ALWAYS can adjust ‘our’ very own sails to reach our destination.

Awaiting your replies,
Hira Zainab.