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About me..

Its way too dificult for me to tell you about me
Its way too difficult to discribe me..
Afterall I am not a name written on paper
Now I am writing some thing which my mind thinks.

Chaste as the first ray
Born fresh and a new
Clear, concise and harmonious
The Soul is but a drop of dew.

A new world, an awakening
An enlightening from the past
An amalgamation of different worlds
Brisk and dainty as a lark.

That feeds on conscience
And grows by learning
That tends, that feels
That longs and goes yearning.

It’s transparency beyond barriers
Its clarity enriched
Luminous and Shining
Its existence leaves thoughts bewitched.

It is life to the body
And breathe for the endurance
A journey through the eyes of what man holds within.

An unfolded mystery, an unsolved riddle
Divinity and art blended therein
No man could create no mind perceive
A sophisticated mechanism that functions with ease.

A book unopened and yet read all
The streaming fountain, the foliage tall
Intelligence of which gave Lord to a few
The soul is but a drop of dew..

A lil about childhood..

Ummm..Right now, I know that it would be futile to dig some words out to portray any sketch as this darn lexis and severe pain are failing me yet again but i can just try to portray a little sketch of my past..

I did not open my eyes alone in this world but from the very first day i was having a companion with me..My twin sister..Iqra :) Iqra jiss ke baray main mujhe bataya jata hay ke uss nanhi si umer main bhi meri her kefiyat main vo mera saath deti thee…In twins there are some cases observed by medical science as well ke kuch bachay jo chand dinoon ke hotay hoyee bhi aapas main buhat close hotay hain..And so was i and Iqra :) Hum dono satah rotay saath hanstay thay per aik kaam uss ne akelay kiya aur mujhe akela chor ke khud Allah gee ke paas jaa betheen mausoofa *frown*

Paa ke khoona buhat aziyat naak hota hay aur Iqra kay sath mera pehla rishta tha jo maine paa ke khoo diya..

I dont know why..but due to this lonliness which had felt in my childhood i was quite an irritating can even name me a different one in the sence that i just wanted to be on side…alone !! I was the first girl in both paternal and maternal side of my family but that could not even develop any kinnda confidence in me..

Very unconfident..Confused..Iriitating child who simply gets angry when someone wants to talk..And yeah i was really like that..Totally opposite to what i am today :)

For 13 years of my life,i have considered my loving mother as my step mother..I really dunno why this feeling appraoched my mind when i was too young to think such rubbish..Aur yeh ehsaas itna pukhta ban gaya ke apni zindagi ke 13 saal maine apni mama se kabhi kaam ki baat ke ilava koi baat nahi kee..My mother,having a very calm and down to earth personality never noticed what was i having in my mind..Aur main apne he khiyalat ke banayee hoyee gardaab main 13 saal phansee rahee..

Jo bacha apni maan se door ho uss say aap iss baat ki kesay umeed rakh saktay hain kay vo kissi aur kay qareeb ho jaye ga..The school in which i was studying has students known for their confidence and intelligence..and so there was merely no space for me over there as well..Girls used to tease me and the same girls who are my good friends now had made me cry for days even by making fun of me..:)

Till 2002,i have been real shy and reserve sort of a person..but how can i forget Ma’am Qaisra..Jinhoon ne meray ander najane kya mehsoos kiya..That was Oct,2002 when this teacher of mine made me procter and cupboard incharge..I even wonder kay mujh jesay bachay main unhoon ne usswaqt aisa kya mehsoos kiya jo itni laiq aur confident larkiyoon ko chor ke mujhe apni class ka representative bana dala..And when i inquired this from her,she answered saying “Obedience..and damn Silence..And i wanted you to come out of yourself and face the world with open eyes..”That really brought great change in my personality..Responsibility taughted many new lessons..Ehsaas-e-zimmay daaree ne sab se pehlay tow mujhe aik aik bande se waqif karaya phir mujhe apni parhayee per zorr denay ko uksaya..and after final exams i came up as a position holder in front of everyone..

On 1st Jan,2004..For the first time i realised that i am having my real mother with me..Aur sirf iss aik ehsaas ne meray ander buhat see nayee cheezoon ko parvaan charhaya..and i was no more child after that :p cuz maine pehli dafa seriously aur sensibly soochna shuru kiya :)

Afterwards many people entered my life..who made my life easier by filling my life with their love and care :) And i was,am and will always indebted to them for that :)

I think it’s getting pretty ends my childhood..:)