Fogged Identity..

Fogged Identity… This term entered the world of my nick-names when it clicked my mind during the creation of an MSN id two years ago. At that time, unaware of its hidden mysteries, I only thought it to representative of condition in those days. Representative of a state blurred by the competition of two extreme emotional verges. I was lying somewhere between the extreme phases, stuck by a ‘vague’ state so I named myself as a sufferer of ‘Fogged Identity’..

But now when I look at my current condition, I get to realize the ‘real’ meaning of ‘Fogged Identity’ completely. Unfolding the bends/folds of ‘Fogged Identity’ takes me to the world of ‘identity crisis’. Erikson defined ‘identity crisis’ as a time of intensive analysis and exploration of different ways of looking at oneself. He described identity as “A subjective sense as well as an observable quality of personal sameness and continuity, paired with some belief in the sameness and continuity of some shared world image. As a quality of unself-conscious living, this can be gloriously obvious in a young person who has found himself as he has found his communality. In him we see emerge a unique unification of what is irreversibly given–that is, body type and temperament, giftedness and vulnerability, infantile models and acquired ideals–with the open choices provided in available roles, occupational possibilities, values offered, mentors met, friendships made, and first encounters.” (Erikson, 1970.)

I, somehow, find myself in state of bewilderment. For I find myself victim of all well-known famous four cases/statuses which can happen with one’s identity. From ‘Identity achievement’ to ‘Moratorium’ and from ‘Foreclosure’ to ‘Identity diffusion’, I feel myself engulfed by the strangest layer ever known.

Where the responsibilities of being a ‘Muslim Girl’ stir my heart, the responsibilities of an ‘escapist ruthless yet patriotic citizen’ start haunting me like demons. Where the failures in pathway of success mock at me, the ups and downs in a to-be ‘writer’s career’ make me a laughing stock..

Few lines are encircling my mind right now. On top lies a question that ‘Who am I?’ Maybe you’ve never even asked yourself this question. You might think you already know who you are. Unfortunately, however, it’s likely that you don’t know who you are at all. And if you don’t know your real identity, you’re in trouble. You’ll spend your life in a kind of dream state—you’ll falsely identify yourself as something or someone you aren’t. Then, on the basis of this false identification, you’ll determine the goals of your life and the purpose of your existence. You use these goals to gauge whether you are making “progress” in life, whether you are a “success.” And you are aided and abetted in this delusion by a complex network of relationships with other dreamers. Of course, at death (and sometimes before), the whole thing turns into a nightmare.

So knowing who you are is a very practical necessity. The question “Who am I?” is not a philosophical football meant to be kicked around coffeehouses by pseudo-intellectuals. It’s a real-life question. Nothing is more important and more relevant than to know who you are… So, ask yourself today that who are you. And do you really know ‘Who are you’?!

May Our Creator helps us identify who we are and let us serve the purpose for which we’re sent in this world and not get misguided and blinded by the stream of other distracting tasks.

Good luck to all of you for your self-exploration :))

Do I again need to remind the significance of your prayers in my life? Need them really truly badly!!

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