Fogged Identity..

Fogged Identity… This term entered the world of my nick-names when it clicked my mind during the creation of an MSN id two years ago. At that time, unaware of its hidden mysteries, I only thought it to representative of condition in those days. Representative of a state blurred by the competition of two extreme emotional verges. I was lying somewhere between the extreme phases, stuck by a ‘vague’ state so I named myself as a sufferer of ‘Fogged Identity’..

But now when I look at my current condition, I get to realize the ‘real’ meaning of ‘Fogged Identity’ completely. Unfolding the bends/folds of ‘Fogged Identity’ takes me to the world of ‘identity crisis’. Erikson defined ‘identity crisis’ as a time of intensive analysis and exploration of different ways of looking at oneself. He described identity as “A subjective sense as well as an observable quality of personal sameness and continuity, paired with some belief in the sameness and continuity of some shared world image. As a quality of unself-conscious living, this can be gloriously obvious in a young person who has found himself as he has found his communality. In him we see emerge a unique unification of what is irreversibly given–that is, body type and temperament, giftedness and vulnerability, infantile models and acquired ideals–with the open choices provided in available roles, occupational possibilities, values offered, mentors met, friendships made, and first encounters.” (Erikson, 1970.)

I, somehow, find myself in state of bewilderment. For I find myself victim of all well-known famous four cases/statuses which can happen with one’s identity. From ‘Identity achievement’ to ‘Moratorium’ and from ‘Foreclosure’ to ‘Identity diffusion’, I feel myself engulfed by the strangest layer ever known.

Where the responsibilities of being a ‘Muslim Girl’ stir my heart, the responsibilities of an ‘escapist ruthless yet patriotic citizen’ start haunting me like demons. Where the failures in pathway of success mock at me, the ups and downs in a to-be ‘writer’s career’ make me a laughing stock..


Few lines are encircling my mind right now. On top lies a question that ‘Who am I?’ Maybe you’ve never even asked yourself this question. You might think you already know who you are. Unfortunately, however, it’s likely that you don’t know who you are at all. And if you don’t know your real identity, you’re in trouble. You’ll spend your life in a kind of dream state—you’ll falsely identify yourself as something or someone you aren’t. Then, on the basis of this false identification, you’ll determine the goals of your life and the purpose of your existence. You use these goals to gauge whether you are making “progress” in life, whether you are a “success.” And you are aided and abetted in this delusion by a complex network of relationships with other dreamers. Of course, at death (and sometimes before), the whole thing turns into a nightmare.

So knowing who you are is a very practical necessity. The question “Who am I?” is not a philosophical football meant to be kicked around coffeehouses by pseudo-intellectuals. It’s a real-life question. Nothing is more important and more relevant than to know who you are… So, ask yourself today that who are you. And do you really know ‘Who are you’?!

May Our Creator helps us identify who we are and let us serve the purpose for which we’re sent in this world and not get misguided and blinded by the stream of other distracting tasks.

Good luck to all of you for your self-exploration :))

Do I again need to remind the significance of your prayers in my life? Need them really truly badly!!



  1. I haven’t asked myself, who I am, in a long time now.
    I guess I need to get back on that self-exploration.

    Will pray for you inshaAllah. :)

    • Aww :) Thank you SO much for your prayers. :) I really feel blessed.

      And good luck with your self-discovery :) Be blessed always as you deserve to be so:)

  2. It was an informative piece. I have seen real bad identity crisis in my high school. There is guy in 9th grade and Hira you won’t believe but he wears different “kinds” of clothes everyday. He even dresses up as girl and wears makeup and nail polish kind of stuff…It’s just that he is trying to find what he really is! I had a detailed discussion about him with my school nurse and the minor things related to him appalled me.

    You will always be in my prayers now. InshAllah :) God bless you.

    • Ooops(: I hope he finally succeeded in gaining the status of ‘identity achievement’:)

      JazakALLAH for prayers:) You also be blessed today and always.

  3. girls do*

  4. That was sorta philosophical post … :)

    • Is it?:) Really? :) I’ve cleared this ‘confusion’ in my second last paragraph that it’s more of a real-life question :) Don’t you think so?

  5. “Know thyself, for what else is there to know.” Or so thinks Sarah Connor ;)

    You know what? I think that identity is way over-rated. I mean yeah, definitely it is important to know the boundaries that define you, yes. But the amount of attention we pay just to answer the question “Who am I? What is my purpose?” is purely ridiculous. Who we are comes naturally to everyone. And even if one needs a nudge in the right direction through self-analysis, it doesn’t need to be the question “Who am I?” It needs to go deeper than just that. There will be no voice to answer this question, no signs, no epiphanies. There will just be more questions, more doubts.

    What we need to do is believe. In ourselves and in our potentials.

    Don’t worry about these things in life. Just have faith in you. These answers only come with time. Just don’t let them defeat you! :)

    • You seem to be really inspired from Sarah Cannor:P I dunno about her but I’ve strong belief in Sufi quote that ‘I searched for myself and found only God, I searched for God and found only myself’.. Also they say ‘Jiss ne apne nafs ko pehchana, uss ne goya apne Khuda ko pehchana’!:)

      I actually agree with you in matter of over-rating ‘Who am I?’. But then again, did I over-rate it? I don’t think so. For me, It’s just an initial step of the one’s quest.

      Errmm rest of your comment is ermm:) I dunno actually young man. May be you’re right.. I dunno.. You’re certainly true in your observation that it results in more questions and more doubts.. But in my case, add up ‘more signs’ as well.. I dunno about others, but I do happen to learn from signs.. And I do believe that there’re signs for those who think.. Rest, i can be wrong as well. After all you’ve more experience and observation than me. So you can be right:) Indeed Allah is the best knower of everything.

      Ummm:) But I can’t deny that your last two lines summed up everything :)
      …. :) Thank you for this strong reminder and boast. It means a lot. It really does:)

      And yeah, I also must appreciate that you’ve been only person here who has come up with ‘views’ (what i demand) than ‘appreciating lines/comments’.

      Thank you and be blessed:)

  6. I’m sure you meant boost? ;)

    • Oooops:O Gosh!:D Yeah I meant boost :$ Just a little mistake totally changes the meaning sometimes:)

  7. In today’s world, we hardly find those few lucky people who do actually set out to discover themselves. I remember telling my students once that it does not matter whether you get the answers to questions such as, ‘who am i? where am i going to and what am i here for? … what matters is the presence and significance of these questions in your life. Maulana Rum (rahimahullah) says that it is not that always the thirsty goes to the water. At times the water itself come to the thirsty.

    So, what matters is the thirst itself … Thirst HAS to be there… Waters are provided :)

    Good post.

    • Ohh My My:) It’s hard to make me speechless on such topics. But you’ve just done it:)

      Do I need to go for an ordinary word like ‘thank you’ for you?:)

      JazakALLAH :) I really mean it.

      And welcome to my blog:) I hope you’ll keep me learning from your precious comments:)

  8. …Maulana Rum (rahimahullah) says that it is not that always the thirsty WHO* goes to the water. At times the water itself comeS* to the thirsty.

    Sorry for the typos. :(

    • C’mon :) Sometimes the ‘essence’ is so precious and special in itself that ‘appearance’ doesn’t matter.. not even a bit :)

  9. Jazakillahu Khaira! But these were just a few rambling thoughts. Nothing precious about them :)

    Yes, I will try my best to keep on visiting, inshaAllah :)

    • There was something really precious about them :) Which I may not make you realize. But there was a sign for me in them :)

      I’ll be honored:) You’re added to my blog roll as well.

  10. “May Our Creator helps us identify who we are and let us serve the purpose for which we’re sent in this world and not get misguided and blinded by the stream of other distracting tasks.” Ameen

    Great post!

    Blessings on you. *Smile*

    • Awww:) Sum Ameen..

      Welcome to my blog :)

      And JazakALLAH for blessings and appreciation:)

  11. Hye

    I also LOVED your blog, specially the template. It’s pretty cool. :D

    • Thank you:D

  12. my comment is a punjabi peom of munir niazi…
    ملدا کیہہ اے ایس دنیا وچ
    رُت اک نویں جوانی دی
    ہوکے بھرن دی پیار کرن دی
    اکّھاں دی نادانی دی
    باقی عمر تے بس فیر اینویں
    نسدیاں بھجدیاں لنگھدی اے
    دور دراز دیاں سوچاں اندر
    روندیاں ہسدیاں لنگھدی اے
    بھُلدے جاندے خواباں دے
    عکساں نوں لبھدیاں لنگھدی اے
    if u know punjabi, u r gonna love it, if no, find someone who translate it for you

  13. “But, can i ask you a question?”
    you said this on 28-05-2009
    and my answer is you are welcomed

    • Ohh.. Am sorry:) I didn’t check that again. Lemme be there:)

  14. And the identity crisis now! it really matters
    what is that
    it is a feeling of restlessness and doubt
    you are uncertain
    you are feared
    what you are
    and what you are going to be
    the cure is one
    your belief should be firm
    should be strong
    should be clear
    how it comes?
    comes from family
    or comes from experience.
    then you are not doubtful.
    no identity crisis
    just have belief in one and The powerful ALLAH< the most kind, The most forigiver

    • :)

      MashAllah.. True you are :) But sticking to beliefs is one heck of a job.

  15. Hi….my fren…..
    it jus happnd that i visited ur profile…..but lemme ask u one thing… it so necessary to think about such psycho questions n waste our life’s….i don’t think so…..

    I believe we are here to live our life to the fullest…..u must hav heard those lines “the world is a stage n we all are jus the actors playing our role”

    arey dost….zindagi mein waise hi tension itne hain k inn saare sawalon ka jawab dhoondhne se kuch milne wala hai nahi aur to aur ye subjects itne gehre hain k inme hum chaahe jitna bhi study kar le par ek philosophy ki book likhne k ilava kuch nahi kar sakte…..

    I believe in love n to spread love i don’t feel that i should be knowing bout the answers to these traumatic questions……
    I believe that if u giv love u’ll receive….if not love then atleast u’ll not even receive hatred too…..

    agar humne koi galat baat keh di ho yaa kuch jyada hi likh diya ho to hame maaf kijiyega…..par mujhe aapka blog accha laga……

    • :)

      Nahin aap ne shayad kuch bhi ghalat nahin kaha.. Per jo cheezain meri zaat ka hisa hain, unn se mein CHAH kar ke bhi munhh morr nai sakti. Wo kisi na kisi waqt kisi na kisi roop mein meray samnay aa he jate hain :)

      But well, you perhaps are right in all what you said :) May our Creator be our guider in all we do and let us stick to what’s right and doesn’t let us sway by diverging things and thoughts, Ameen.

      Welcome to my blog :)

  16. when i m self exploring it is like a scavenger hunt!

    the list doesnt show what i have but as i come face to face with it i cant help but scream ‘this is who i m’

    going nuts so far!

  17. Very well written… I usually don’t bother myself with such questions… Because I know that if I’ll… there’s only a rare possibility that I’ll get answers to them!! There’s a spiritual side to all of us… but when it reaches its peak, its difficult to return back to this world… Questions as “WHO AM I?” require a depth of spirituality… Ain’t something we all are meant to understand…

  18. A letter written after 15 years of self-exploration:

    “To-morrow at twelve o’clock I regain my freedom and the right to associate with other men, but before I leave this room, I think it necessary to say a few words to you. With a clear conscience I tell you, as before God, who beholds me, that I despise freedom and life and health, and all that in your books is called the good things of the world.

    “For fifteen years I have been intently studying earthly life. It is true I have not seen the earth nor men, but in your books I have drunk fragrant wine, I have sung songs, I have hunted stags and wild boars in the forests, have loved women. . . . Beauties as ethereal as clouds, created by the magic of your poets and geniuses, have visited me at night, and have whispered in my ears wonderful tales that have set my brain in a whirl. In your books I have climbed to the peaks of Elburz and Mont Blanc, and from there I have seen the sun rise and have watched it at evening flood the sky, the ocean, and the mountain-tops with gold and crimson. I have watched from there the lightning flashing over my head and cleaving the storm-clouds. I have seen green forests, fields, rivers, lakes, towns. I have heard the singing of the sirens, and the strains of the shepherds’ pipes; I have touched the wings of comely devils who flew down to converse with me of God. . . . In your books I have flung myself into the bottomless pit, performed miracles, slain, burned towns, preached new religions, conquered whole kingdoms. . . .

    “Your books have given me wisdom. All that the unresting thought of man has created in the ages is compressed into a small compass in my brain. I know that I am wiser than all of you.

    “And I despise your books, I despise wisdom and the blessings of this world. It is all worthless, fleeting, illusory, and deceptive, like a mirage. You may be proud, wise, and fine, but death will wipe you off the face of the earth as though you were no more than mice burrowing under the floor, and your posterity, your history, your immortal geniuses will burn or freeze together with the earthly globe.

    “You have lost your reason and taken the wrong path. You have taken lies for truth, and hideousness for beauty. You would marvel if, owing to strange events of some sorts, frogs and lizards suddenly grew on apple and orange trees instead of fruit, or if roses began to smell like a sweating horse; so I marvel at you who exchange heaven for earth. I don’t want to understand you.

    Very BEAUTIFUL indeed. But I don’t think that the author would have been able to live a normal life after achieving this level of knowledge and spirituality.
    Anyway, very well written… I LOVED the way you put it together. I won’t, however, side with the point of view… Sorry (:

  19. i discover me one day at a time.
    and every day is something unique cuz i havent been like that in so many years.
    indeed you have my prayers and well wishes for the inpsirational knowhow of yourself.

    you wont perfect it but you ll b familiar with the reflection you always see smiling back at you!

  20. I’ll reply both of you in detail tomorrow, inshALLAH:)

  21. It’s not recommended to squander life-span just dreaming or just running. An amalgam of hardships and constructive philosophy refurbishes rhombus to pearls. Throw yourself in adversity & discover the ‘real’ you.

    Your approach towards life is adorable.

  22. Who am I today? Discover me quickly because tomorrow I may not be the same person!

  23. […] identity! Identity is a strange word, and let us not even get into discussion which can lead to fogged identity. Let us get back to where we were… Self-Conflict, that was! It’s a famous saying that , […]

  24. […] is a strange word, and let us not even get into discussion which can lead to fogged identity. Let us get back to where we were… Self-Conflict, that was! It’s a famous saying that , ‘The […]

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