Azaab-e-Sha’oor..

I had written this afsana/story almost 1.5-2 years ago. Was sixteen years old back then!*innocent smiley*.. And it has been my first and only story/afsana till now:P

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Khiyaloon ke bhanwar mein ulajhtay howe uss ne uchat’ti howe nazr apne gird-o-atraaf main daali. Javani ki sarshari aur dil-farebi main gum howe apnay ham-jam’aat ussay ajnabi se lagay.. Apna aap unn se alag mehsoos karte he bay-zaari ne phir ussay charon taraf se ghair liya.. Bay-zari ba’az auqaat kissi sehra main bhatakte howe musafir ki manind kyun kar deti hai?

Uss ne goya apnay aap se daryaft kiya..

Yeh iss ka panchwan din tha apne naye college mein. Apni daidh (1.5) saala college life main yeh chotha (4th) college tha jo isski zindagi se mansoob ho chuka tha.. Ya shayad maazi ke sath (Uss ne ulajhte howe soocha!). Zindagi mein hone wale pay-dar-pay mazak ne ussay uss ki apni nigahoon main aik mazak bana ke rakh diya tha. Zindagi ki dorr mein bhagtay bhagtay abb wo thak chuki thee aur yeh thakan abb uss ki rooh ko tamam atraaf say apni lapait mein le chuki thee.. Raah-e-hayat ke kantoon se apnay daman ko bachate bachate shikastagi ussay apna nishana banane mein kamyaab ho chuki thee..

Apni saathi ki pukar ussay goya wapis uss mahol mein ghaseet laye. Magar aglay he lamhay khwab aur haqeeqat ka zindagi ke sath khel, aur unka har lehza aik dosre mein tabdeel hone ki sochain aik baar phir yalghaar ho chuki theen..

Khwaab aur haqeeqat ke safr ne hamesha he ussay uljha ke rakha hua tha. Yeh tayh karna uss ke liye hamesha se ik mushkil amr raha hai ke zindagi main hone wali soorat-e-haal khwaab ka hisa hai ya haqeeqat ka. Kabhi haqaiq se labraiz jhulasti dhoop uss ke wajood ko rakh ka dhair bana deti tow wo apni zindagi ko haqeeqaton ke mai’yaar per parakhne lagti magar chand he sa’atoon ke ba’ad jab uss ka damagh ulajh jata tow ussay apni faani zindagi ka aik aik lamha khwab per mushtamil lagta. Aur uss ki soochon ka mehwar apna roohani safr reh jata magar wahan bhi shaor-o-la’shaoor apni bay-naqaab haqeeqaton ke sath daman phailaye maujood thay..

Meray sath aakhir masla kia hai? Uss ne jhilla kar soocha. Apnay ird gird qehqahay lagati larkiyon per ussay rashk aaya. Wo kitni khush-qismat theen ke inn saraboon se qat’aa ta’aluq kar paati theen. Aur aik wo thee, uss ne apnay aap par tars khatay howe soocha, aik wo thi ke inn main se hotay howe bhi nahin thee.

Magar nahin.. kooshish tow uss ne bhi ki thee aur shayad apni iss sa’ayee mein kamyaab bhi ho gaye thee kay apni zaat ko wo sirf sab ke liye baes-e-tamaniyat aur baes-e-khushi bana lay..chahay apnay be-tukki baton se, ya phir zindagi ke baray mein gehray tajziye se, chahay apni muhabbat o ulfat se, ya khiyal o apnaiyat ko apni nass nass main samo kar jeewan ke mukhtalif peh’loon se parda utha kar… kooshish tow uss ne bhi ki thee apnay se jurray har banday ke labon per muskaan bakhairne ki. Apnay aap ko mazboot zahir kar ke uss ne har aik ki zindagi se kantay chunn lena chahay… Magar yeh aaj kia hua? Wo itna tanha kyun mehsoos kar rahi hai. . Ussay apnay aap se ajnabiyat kyun mehsoos ho rahi hai? Khud ko sambhalte sambhalte wo aik dum kesay bikhar gaye? Yeh aisay sawal thay jinn ke jawab beher haal ussay talash karne thay..

Ussay yak-dam apnay pooray badan mein dard ki lehar uthti mehsoos howe. Pichlay kuch arsay se uss ki tabiyat bilkul thek na thi. Ussay apni maa ki shafqat aur pareshani yaad aaye. Maa ka aks joonhi aankhon ke parday ke samnay lehraya, aik beti ke laboon per bay-jaan muskurahat aa gaye..

Beti.. Beti hone ka ehsaas aur bhi buhat si yadain taza karne ka sabab ban gaya..

Uss ki ham-jam’atoon ne yak-dam ‘qayamat‘ ko zer-e-behes bana lia. Unhone uss ki raye jan’na chahti magar wo jese khaali nigahoon ke sath haunqoon ki tarah unko dekhay gaye..

Lafz ‘qayamat’ ne uss ke andar halchal paida kar di thee… Yeh lafz uss ke asaab hathoray ki tarah patakh raha tha. Aandhi phir se uss ke wajood ko apni lapait main le chuki thee aur wo ye sochne per majboor ho gaye ke insaani paidaish bhi qayamat ka ik ishara hota hai.. aur uss ki sam’aat andar ki gonj se laraz uthi, wo gonj wo uss ki sansoon se paida howe iss sawal ke sath ke ‘uss’ qayamat se pehlay banda bashar ko ‘kitni’ qayamatoon ka samna karna parta hai..

Uss ke ham-jama’atoon ne jam’aat main barhti ghuttan ki shikayat shuru kar di thee.. A.C aaj halki halki khunki ke baes nahin chalaya gaya tha.. Aur abb khirkiyan kholne kay israar ne tamam larkiyon ki pukaar ka roop dhaar liya tha. Bairooni ghuttan ka shor machati inn larkiyon ko dekh kar wo ajeeb kashmakash ka shikaar thee. Unhoon ne tow apni ghuttan ka ilaaj khirkiyon ke patt khol ke kar liya magar kia kissi ke paas andarooni ghuttan ka ilaaj tha?

Andarooni ghuttan ka ilaaj aaj ussay sirf ibadat se mila tha.. Wo sarshari jo ‘abbd aur Malik‘ ke rishtay main hoti hai, ussay hamesha sakoon ki daulat se nihaal kar jati thee. Magar abb jab uss ka apna zehan, apnay dil aur apni zaat se ta’aluq main dararain paida ho gaye theen tow wo ibadat per bhi dheyan nahi de paa rahi thee.. Apni zaat ke gunjal kholne mein shayad ussay abhi mazeed waqt darkar tha. Apni manzil wazeh karne ke liye mazeed koshish karna ho gee.

Koshish.. wo be-basi se muskura di..

Koshish-e-la’hassil se jurri yadain, na’kaam sa’yee se wabista batain ussay apnay hisaar mein lapaitne lageen.

Uss ne apna sarr kursi ki pusht pe tikka ke ankhain moond leen..

Aur phir.. wo kahin aur thee!! Khana Kaba ke gird tawaf karte, roshniyon se munawar hote… wo haule se muskura di..WO jo sab ka Malik tha, sab ki niyatoon se waqif tha, Uss ne iss ko tanha kahan chora tha! (:

Khaliq-o-Baari Ta’alaa ne iss rait ke bezarar-o-be’wuquat zarray ko phir ‘gard‘ se alehda kar diya tha.. Aur wo iss per jitna shukar adda karti, kam tha:)

(Hira Zainab)
2nd Nov, 2007.

I never shared it before because I didn’t find it worth-sharing. But sharing it now because of few relations. For one, in order to show her my first random thoughts in ‘form’ of a story. And other, to share with him the theme behind it. That Almighty has always been there with His support for me:)

Prelogomenon.. (Introduction to Blog)

Err.. FINALLY I’ve come up with introduction to my blog:)

The previous one (Introduction ) was actually what i had written in 10 mins on demand of my Sir during first class of ‘Communication Skills’ :P *embarrassed*

But I’ve finally penned down a proper prelogomenon/welcome note for my blog :) Here it is : Prolegomenon

Welcome to world of my writings :)

writing1228511911

Sedated Emotions..(Song Lyrics)

I was told to write song lyrics for an informal art movie..
This is what I could come with:

Scene: End Scene of movie.
Concept is derived from ‘The Road Not Taken’ by Robert Frost.
Main theme lies in: ”Two paths diverge into a yellow wood’, ‘I chose the path less travelled by and that has made all the difference”.

And in this story it’s applied to Aamir who has made a mistake and his life diverged into two choices; one , he could blame himself and make amends or two, he could go on blaming everyone else but himself and live in neglect forever’ .He went for second option. And blamed Hira (his elder sis) for every failure in his life.. But in end, he realizes his mistake, when Hira had left him with a caring note. And he, for first time, accepts his mistakes and gets ready to fight in his life..

Silent

Here I lie, heavy hearted at the end
A solitary wanderer lost amidst thoughts
Fiery and ruddy are the eyes, foggy as tears blend
I try to say, they will rekindle all my dying thoughts

All about me has turned black with gloom,
My bones seem to rack with grim despair,
And oh! All I just feel is pending doom,
Every breath of mine is a gasp for air.

Lying broken and trampled, here I recall
My egoistic fights whenever made me fall
You washed my wounds, made me stand tall
Need you here, now will you not listen to my call?

My sedated emotions are recklessly screaming
I couldn’t comprehend the woe they went through
Numb I stood there, my sentiments were freezing
I couldn’t see your beauty with love false… Or true…

… Ohh! I’ve never been so weak, yet so strong …

Giving warmth in despair, tickling ribs when tense, together we have grown,
In caring, comforting and compassionate acts, our love that we have shown,
Reassuring the heart that despite of parting, we’d ‘never walk alone’.

… Ohh! I’ve never been so weak, yet so strong…

Though during the Parting of the Ways, the bereft heart grieves,
Strong is our bond, my sis and shall not crumble like withered leaves.

… Ohh! I’ve never been so weak, yet so strong …

A new meaning with an old cause.
I will not quit….I shall fight on..

Special thanks to My Dedi aka Imama Hameed for her special concern and support. Without her encouraging words, I seriously couldn’t have written a single verse :) Love you a lot and blessed to have you at my side.

Contented Soul..

Am including a new category “Therapy Session” especially for few people I’ve been encountering these days who’ve turned to wandering souls in deep deserts of enigmatic negotiations.. It’s an effort to heal their shattered souls (:<

I had written the passage below almost three years ago, when i was in metric (10th grade)..for my own magazine*innocent smiley*.. It appears very simple (in matter of linguistic skills) now. But still, these tips have been useful for me till now.

“If there is light in soul, there will be beauty in the person. If there is beauty in the person,there will be harmony in the house. If there’s harmony in the house, there will be order in the nation. If there’s order in a nation, there will be peace in the world!!”

Dear fellows, just for a single moment,do yourself a favour , take a short leave from your busy routine, sit back, close your eyes and when you feel a bit relaxed,have a peep inside your ownselves. And try to find out if there’s even a single trace of that light in your soul which can work miracles. It may sound rediculous,absurd,odd may be non-practical too, but just try it. Believe me it’s a treat worth giving a shot. And when you find out that light inside you,bring it out and try to spread it all around. You’ll defintely see its magic then.

Though it’s precious beyond imagination still it’s not rare because it is present inside every living soul (: It’s only that we usually dont know the EXACT place to look for it. The best way to find it is to let noone ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God Almighty’s kindness ; kindness in your face, kindness in your eys,kindness in your warm greetings!!!

Just try out these simple recipies of a happy and contented soul and you’ll feel that there’s only smiles and smiles all around you and inside you!! Best of luck for making your soul a contented one (:

Taqrar-e-ehsasat..

Uss ne apnay chehray par pani ki chand boondain girtee howe mehsoos keen.. Phir boondain bharti gayeen. Uss ne sar utha kar Aasman ki taraf daikha.. Aasman se be-awaz halki halki phawar baras rahi thee aur sitaroon ki madham roshni mein wo uss phuwar ko daikh sakti thee.. Asmaan abb bhi saaf aur ujla sa tha.. Kahin par badal ka koi tukra nazr nahi aa raha tha.. Magar barish phir bhi baras rahi thee.. Haule haule, be-awaz, naram phuwar ki soorat main aur hawa ki nami ne hawa mein maujood mitti ki khushbu ko kuch aur taiz kar diya tha.. Phuwar uss kay chehray, baloon, libaas aur wajood ko sehlatay howe bhago rahee thee.. Uss ne ankhain band kar ke apne dono bazo hawa main phaila diye.. Hathoon pw girti howe phuwar ko uss ne ankhain band kiye mehsoos kiya.. Pairoon ke neechay makhmaleen farsh ki mulaimat ko pani ne barha diya tha..

Uss ne aankhain band kiye dono hath fiza mein phailaye aur chehra asmaan ki taraf kar ke barasti phuwar mein iss farsh par ahesta ahesta chakar katnay lagee..Uss ki masti aur sarshari main har guzratay lamhay ke sath izafa hota ja raha tha..

Per yak-dam bijli ki lalkarti howe chamak ne pal bhar main uss ki bay-khudi ko jakar liya.. Ik ajeeb say khauf ne charoon simt se ussay ghair liya.. Jiss tarah samandar ki bhipartee howe lehrain sahil ke gharoondon ko rait ke zaray mein badal daiti hai, ussi tarah iss dil dehloz garaj ne uss ki sari bay-gangi se lamha bhar mein be-gana kar diya..

Darr uss ki aankhoon me simat aaya.. Sehmi nigahoon ke sath wo farsh pe he beth tow gaye..Per chand pal pehle lagne wala mulaim farsh abb ussay kantoon ki amajgaah lag raha tha..

Wo kahan thee? Kia wo waheen thee? Ya taqrar-e-ehsaasat main bhatak kar kahin kho si gaye thee.. Kia jo wo sab daikh rahee thee, inn takrar-e-ehsasat kay sath, kia wo sab kuch..khwab dar khwab tow nai??!