Nothingness..

As I sit here, with my ill-fated and futile tries to collect my vague and jumbled thoughts, with my doomed and defeated attempts to let my introspection flow in form of words, I yet again find myself empty-handed. I unfailingly struggle to remind myself of reverberation of my words..but all I can view in my imagination is nothing but fogged images.. I retrospect the replies/comments I’ve been getting to continue with blogging and they finally make me call words back to write something..

Wind outside hits the the window, forcing me to raise my head which makes me see studios students deeply indulged in studies… and my being misfit in library of my university spreads smile on my face….

Wind reminds me of its presence again by a heavy storm again and my thoughts divert to the nature of breeze today.. And as I noticed, I figured it out that breeze today aims to blow everything that comes in its way.. The rebellion attribute of the breeze makes me smile yet again (:

I am breathing through fastest days these days, and I almost hear lives exhaust as fast as sun trots.

Wind drifts away my attention yet again..

I see around myself.. Students feeling proud and responsible with the tag of ‘to be’ engineers…Breezy day,Busy minds, staring into future, and all want to reach highest peaks in blinks of eye.

I feel myself misfit yet again in these determined learners..

The feeling of being a lone wolf surrounds me completely. I’m tending to be more of a hermit,anchorite and sort of recluse and secluded today. Loneliness engulfs me with its soothing lore making me similar to empty quiver.

I am alone yet again to fight all the strife.

The narrow paths of my nerves seem to be all colliding in to a gigantic and colossal mass of nothingness. Together they make me set my nothingness free, into the empty darkness of the universe. My discomfort among ‘teen-agers’ , often painful enough to be pleasurable, but amorphous enough not to be felt lol.. Deep inside, I strongly feel an inclination to have strength to reach out to my soul and squeeze out every drop of hollowness inside..

But silently I remain here, thwarted with my abortive aims..

Lol..

Perhaps it’s nothing..

Perhaps it’s just that my nothingness is returned to me!!!

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16 Comments

  1. Well, you’ve expressed your feelings beautifully… though, I think you shouldn’t be having such feelings…

    Keep writing, and I mean that really…

    “I almost hear lives exhaust as fast as sun trots.” => *frown*

    “Students feeling proud and responsible with the tag of ‘to be’ engineers…Breezy day,Busy minds, staring into future, and all want to reach highest peaks in blinks of eye.” => lol… you’d rarely find the same sort of students in our university…. P. S. I consider it merely your imagination. The attitude that you’ve mentioned is rare…. and can be expected from high achievers only… who, well, are rare (:

    “I feel myself misfit yet again in these determined learners..” => You aren’t a misfit… (: Maybe it’s just your desire to be a determined learner, which YOU think you’re not… and that makes your consider yourself a misfit…
    Here, you’ve sorta considered everyone else around you “perfect” (“determined learners” are rare) and yourself “imperfect” (so-called misfit)…. that’s NOT right Era.

    Do try approaching things from my point of view (:

    Take care.

    • … :)

      Err coming back to your mentioned points..

      As far as attitude of students is concerned, Mo they WERE like that cuz our finals are approaching. And by reaching highest peak in blink of eyes was related to their desires regarding final exam.. not with their lives and destinies!:)

      Umm:) I really AM a misfit in many cases Mo and you know it very well (: Don’t you?

      I can actually see things from your view now!:) Because the period of nothingness has ended. But what makes me love you is your special concern and care towards my approach!:)

      Lub you!

  2. “My discomfort among ‘teen-agers’ , often painful enough to be pleasurable, but amorphous enough not to be felt lol.. ” => *frown*

    • That’s truth:) You know it yourself also.

  3. I totally agree with Mo in each and every aspect….*hats off to you mo for narrating each and every thing so perfectly*
    Hiro you need some good spanking really!!! -_-

    • Thanks for concern!

  4. speech less…yet ….must say that u r brave enough to write..& express ur feelings…

    Be there for urself.. be there for ur family ..be positive.. be strong…believe in God .. n urself…

    Forget the rest:)

    (its not a advice…its wat every struggling person do)

    • Even if that was an advice, it really was something which is a ‘fact’, ‘universally approved truth’ and a ‘valuable’ suggestion!:)

      Thank you for visiting:)

    • My pleasure….!

  5. a*an

  6. You’ll get fine one day…
    M.M’s comment is great.

    • Lolz. Jee I surely will, inshAllah!:)

  7. Insha’Allah :)

  8. Umm:)

  9. “Students feeling proud and responsible with the tag of ‘to be’ engineers….”

    Well, you wrote the above mentioned line as if it was more to do with life, rather than merely a part of life. (:

    And I DON’T consider you a misfit ):

    “My discomfort among ‘teen-agers’ , often painful enough to be pleasurable, but amorphous enough not to be felt lol.. ”

    I know it only through your words, not through your actions (:

  10. Ermmm:)


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